What a Year...

Some years seem to take forever and drag on, making you wish you could just fast forward to the end. Other years fly by so fast that you are almost surprised when they are over. 2009 was one of those years for me. Except that it went by so much faster and was so much more eventful than any other year that I can recall. Looking back, I think that I have changed and grown more in this year than the several years before it combined. It has been a year of choices, opportunities, changes, firsts, and so many memories.

At the beginning of the year, life altering decisions were made that led me to a college, a ward, and an apartment that was the location and cause of the changes and opportunities to follow. Two days after my high school graduation, I drove away in my brother and sister-in-law's car to move away from home and on my own for the first time in my life. I remember the weeks leading up to my departure and the moment of driving away from my parents and my house. I kept waiting for the normal, typical reactions and feelings of a change this big to fill me...the anxiety, uncertainty, excitement, nervousness and other combination of feelings that someone in my situation should be feeling...but they never really came. Talking to a friend from home on the phone a couple days later, I told her that it still hadn't hit me yet but I was sure it would soon. 7 months later and it still hasn't 'hit me.'

I don't know how to explain it, how in the last 7 months I have had so many new experiences and changes. How I have adapted to a completely foreign and new environment and people, and there still has never been that moment of doubt, fear, homesickness, and overwhelmedness. I feel as if I have flown through this year and all the new experiences and I can hardly believe it is already over. It is when I stop and look back at the year when I can see all that has happened. It really has been quite a journey...

Highlights of 2009
(there were so many things I had to leave out, and it still so long)

April: Visited UVU for the first time and received strong feelings of confirmation that this was where I was supposed to go

May: performed in a community play along with my Dad...it was a great learning experience and all of the family got to come and watch the final show

May: graduated from High School with my family all there to support me

June: Lived with Brad and Jet for a month after moving away from home while also attending the singles ward that I'd be moving in to....learned so much from them and had a lot of fun. This picture was taken at the Kelly Clarkson concert at UVU

end of June: Moved in to the Monticello apartments....where I found a great ward, great friends, and so many great experiences. Also, it was my first time living on my own.

July: Skidmore family reunion in Colorado....

great times with the family...

...and so many adventures. Here, my brother and I are zip-lining.

Summer in Provo

I had awesome roommates that I had so many great times with...here we are at the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie

Me and Kylie played on a coed intramural softball team

Skidmore cousin dinner

August: my brother Jeff returned from a two year mission for our church in New York City. He moved in to the same apartment complex and ward as me.

August: my brother Greg was married to Kristen...and I got another sister-in-law!

I got two new roommates in the fall(and got to keep one of the old ones!) We have had many exciting times.

October: I got to go home for a couple days and meet my brand new nephew Hyrum!

November: my parents and little brother came up to Provo for Thanksgiving

I played on a women's intramural soccer team and we won the championship!

December: I went home for Christmas break...

We acted out the nativity scene...

...and I got to spend time with Hyrum! and the rest of the family of course...

And now I get to look forward to the year of 2010 and wonder what new experiences it will hold. So much changes in just one year and I am excited to see what 2010 will bring...

My New Favorite T-shirt... and More Soccer Adventures

By popular request, I have been asked to blog about my recent adventures with the intramural soccer championships. I was planning on doing this anyway, but my parents suggested something more. In my dad's words, "the culmination of years of a colorful soccer success story." I realized that there really is quite a journey involved in my soccer career, with high points and low points and stories and lessons scattered along the way. So I decided to think back through all the memories, excitements, pain, changes, friendships, insecurities, confidence building, and growth that has come from the great sport of soccer and my long journey with it.

I started playing soccer when I was eight, the first age that you could. Other sports came and went through elementary and middle school, but soccer was always my favorite and I played it every fall and spring. Very early on my favorite position to play was forward. The feeling of dribbling down the field, shooting on goal, and seeing the ball hit the back of the net is priceless. I played that position as much as I could. They introduced the position of goalie and rotated everyone through playing it and I liked that too, but forward was still my favorite. I played soccer all through elementary school and saw all the good players start going towards the competitive teams. None of my brothers had done competitive sports because it was a big time commitment with all the long drives for Saturday games and not very convenient for our busy family. But through several convincing factors and the help of my brother Greg, my parents let me try out for the competitive team at the end of my 6th grade year.

I made the competitive team and played with them for two seasons during my 7th grade. It was a great experience for me and I learned so much more about soccer, improved my skills, played with people who were better than me so I was really challenging myself, and just stretched and grew in so many ways. I played a couple different positions on the field until one game when our goalie got hurt and the team needed someone to take her spot. I was feeling a little sick and didn't want to run around a lot, and I had enjoyed goalie in the past, so I volunteered. It was a pretty close and intense game, but I managed to hold my own. After that game my coach and team decided that I would be playing goalie for the rest of the year. My dad told me afterward that he had been praying on the sidelines that I would be able to stop the goals so that I would have confidence as goalie and keep at it. He got his wish because I went on to play goalie for several years.

The next year I tried out to play on the same competitive team again. To my complete surprise and heartbreak, I did not make the team. It was really unexpected, because once someone makes that team, they usually stay on it. I clearly remember the next day at school when all my teammates were consoling me and expressing their confusion and shock at me being cut. My coach gave me some reason like there wouldn't be enough playing time for the rest of the players if so many people were on the team, but from what I heard through the season, due to injuries and other reasons they sometimes were short players. When this happened I was completely crushed because I thought that my soccer career was over. My visions of playing high school soccer faded away. There was not really another team that I could play on, and our high school soccer program was intense enough that missing one year would make a significant difference. I began to think of my other options (my mom kept hinting at cross country, sorry Mom...) and finally the idea was reached that I could tryout for the high school team as an eighth grader. It was recommended that eighth graders try out in order to gain experience and know what was coming, but they didn't usually get put on the team. So I tried out along with most of my old teammates.

They needed a goalie on the C-team so I tried out primarily as a goalie, and I made it! The season that followed was full of more learning, stretching, and growing as I expanded my skills and gained more experience. My abilities were really challenged as I was the only eighth grader on the team and was playing with people older and more experienced than me. But I learned a lot and at the end of the season I was voted the Most Improved Player by my teammates. Through the season I became more confident in my goalie abilities, but I still longed to play on the field as a forward as well. At the beginning of the season, there were two goalies and we would each play one half in goal and one half on the field. That was the ideal situation for me, but I began to doubt my abilities as a field player through derogatory comments and feelings from my coach. Despite assurances from my teammates and assistant coach, I lost confidence in my field playing and focused instead on goalie. My coach began playing me as goalie for the entire game, because he said I was more reliable. There was at least something that I could have confidence in, and as I helped lead my team to a victory in the end of the season tournament, I was sure that goalie would be the position that I stayed with for the rest of the season.

The next spring I played on a competitive team since the school team plays only in the fall. I was the only goalie and only eighth grader on a team that was a mix of freshmen, sophomores, and juniors. We had to play in the league that the oldest people on our team would be in, so as a scrawny, short little eighth grader (no exaggeration, I was a scrawny little stick back then) I was playing in a league of people several years older than me. I was definitely not your stereotypical goalie, and I am sure I looked very out of place. I was sick with nervousness before several of the games, but I pushed through the season and continued to learn more, and was then voted the Most Improved Player once again.

The next fall was my freshman year and I tried out for the high school team again. This time all of my old teammates were trying out with me again, but now they were trying out much more seriously because if they didn't make this team there was no other soccer option. Let me remind you that my school's soccer program is very intense. Many a girl has moved in to the town and decided that they want to try soccer, but then show up to tryouts and realize it is no joke. It is never a given that as you get older, you move up to the next level team. The varsity team truly is elite, and even people who have played on the high school team the first three years of high school are not guaranteed a spot on the varsity team. I have seen many of them turned away. I was nervous to see what would happen now that all my old teammates were trying out for the same positions as me. I ended up making the JV team with only two other freshmen. The rest of my old teammates were on the C-team. That season was probably my favorite soccer season that I have had. I loved my team, my coach, and just the whole general situation. My coach really stretched me and helped me to grow and learn. He also started getting ideas that I would be a good forward, and throughout the season he gave me little opportunities to try it out. Games in which we were winning significantly, he would put someone else in as goalie and let me play forward. Memories of how much I loved forward came back to me, and he kept encouraging me and telling me that I should try it out. I wanted to, but I still had all my insecurities developed from my old coach that were always bearing down on me. I played goalie with an older team again the next spring, but my coach worked with me during the summer and then sophomore year I tried out as a forward. I made JV again which was what I expected, because I had to make up for all the lost time and develop my skills. It was another year of stretching and challenging myself as I tried to push and improve myself. I had the same coach and he kept encouraging and helping me. The next spring I played with a lot of the same people and continued to play forward.

My junior year was a tough year, and I did not make varsity. I was not expecting to, because I still felt like I had so much to improve and learn. I would have been fine with it, except that I had a different coach and he made it a very difficult season. I know that you cannot blame everything on a coach, but it does make a big difference. He just seemed to have it out for me from the very beginning and didn't seem to like me at all. He didn't give me a lot of playing time and just had a lot of negative vibes and actions toward me. Soccer was supposed to fun, that's why I started it in the first place, but the fun seemed to have been lost amidst all the politics, competition, and biases that had developed. I decided not to try out for the varsity team the next year, because there were too many things going against it. I needed to work and save money for college and I was not willing to put in all the time and stress that would be required in order to play on the varsity team and the coach that went with it. I never regretted my decision and I think it was the best thing for me to do, but there were many of those moments when I really missed soccer.

Enter intramural soccer! This fall I got to play on a girls intramural soccer team and it was such a great experience. I did not really know anyone on my team, they were all people who had lived in my ward before I moved in, or friends of the people on the team and they were all at least a couple years older than me. But I got to know them all and they were such nice, fun, friendly people and I had a great time playing on the team with them. It was so good to be able to go back to soccer in a comfortable, low-key setting. I played forward for the first few games, and let other people borrow my goalie gloves to play goalie. Neither of the girls had really played goalie much, and one game we were losing pretty bad, and I felt like I should try to do my part. I volunteered to play goalie for the second half, and everything came rushing back. The first time that the ball came to me and I had to dive for it, I remembered why I had played and loved goalie so much. My teammates all decided that I should play goalie for the rest of the season. There has been this everlasting rotation between goalie and forward, and I am sure that it will continue. As corny as it may sound, there are times when I am meant to play forward and there are times when I am meant to play goalie. This was a time that I was definitely meant to be goalie, and I felt like I would have been abandoning my abilities if I hadn't stepped up and volunteered.

Our team ended up winning all the games in our tournament and then made it to the final four. I never thought we would have made it that far, but we actually ended up winning the whole thing! Last week we played in the finals and through a huge and dramatic comeback, we won the tournament! We became intramural champs, and won the shirts that are known as the most coveted t-shirt on campus. It was such an exciting day for me, and not just for the tournament victory (which was very exciting on its own!). There were so many other victories won that day as well. I was able to go back to soccer, conquer all my fears, and bring back that positive association that I have always had it, but seemed to be missing. I was also able to become part of a team again, and a team that I felt like I was a significant part of. I felt needed and important, which are feelings I had been lacking, and I knew that people truly would notice if I was not at a game. One of my teammates went as far as to say that our team would not have won without me. While I don't think that's true, it is still such an amazing feeling to have someone think that. There is nothing in the world like feeling needed, noticed, and appreciated.

Sorry that this got so long, I am sure the people who asked me to write it did not mean for it to be so long, but I realized that there really are so many stories and lessons from soccer. And there are so many others that I didn't include. But one thing is for sure, my life would not have been the same without soccer...

The Best Time of the Year

Today is the first day of the best month of the year....DECEMBER!! Seriously, I love December! I love that people basically celebrate Christmas all month long. Some of the many things I love about December and Christmas time:

~~Christmas decorations....seeing all the lights and trees and other decorations just makes me so happy. I seriously need to get to work decorating our apartment this weekend!

~~Christmas music: I went through my i-tunes yesterday and put all of my Christmas music on to one playlist. Most of my favorite hymns are Christmas songs and I am so happy that we have started singing them in church. And I love having all my Christmas music from my computer playing in the background. Some of my personal favorites are: Oh Holy Night, What Child is This, Silent Night, My Grown-Up Christmas List(by Kelly Clarkson), and A Baby Changes Everything(by Faith Hill)

~~The whole message of Christmas: Christ's birth and his whole life. So many things today are trying to take Christ out of Christmas, but he is what it is all about!

~~The spirit of service and love that everyone seems to have in their heart. Christmas time reminds everyone what truly matters. There are so many acts of service and love around this time. The best in people seems to really come out.

~~Picking presents out for people: I absolutely love trying to pick something out for each person that I think they would love and then watching their reaction when they get it. I pay attention to what people say and so when Christmas time comes, I can get something that they mentioned once that they liked or wanted. Or sometimes coming up with something on my own that completely takes them by surprise. I wish I had more money, so I could get more presents for people!


~~Christmas stories: I love Christmas books and movies and any other random Christmas stories. My family has a pretty big collection of Christmas movies that I look forward to seeing every year, but my favorites are: It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, and The Christmas Wish. There are countless Christmas stories that are all so wonderful, but one in particular that stands out to me is "A Christmas Dress for Ellen" by Thomas S. Monson.

And so many other small things that add up to the best time of the year....


*Being with family*Hot chocolate*Snuggling up with a blanket*Giant snowmen built specially by the Skidmore family*Christmas caroling*Candy Canes*Family traditions*White Christmases*Annual Christmas ornaments from Grandma*Nativity scenes from around the world*Secret Santas*Holiday socks*Curling up by the fire*Being warm inside while it is snowing outside*Random acts of service*Getting Christmas cards, letters, and pictures from family and friends*Staying in pajamas all day*My mom's amazing cooking

One man's life touches so many others...

It breaks my heart every time I hear about something like this happening...

Last night my 12 year old brother rode the city bus up to his middle school basketball practice along with four of his teammates. When the bus dropped them off, two of the boys ran across the road in front of the parked bus and the boy in front was hit by a car that was driving down the road. The driver did not see the boy and so did not even put on his brakes. The impact was so strong that the boy was knocked out of his shoes. My little brother was standing on the sidewalk when it happened and could hear the impact and see his friend's body land. The boy was in critical condition and was flown to intensive care, but passed away this morning. It is heart breaking in so many ways....a twelve year old boy who had so much life left to live... a mother and three sisters who lost one of the most important people in their life...the driver of the car who, despite the fact that he had no way of seeing the boy coming, will have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life... my little brother and the other boys who had to witness this and will probably never forget.

I did not personally know the boy, but I knew who he was and had seen him play basketball games with my little brother. I talked to my mom about it today and heard all the details and about all the aftereffects. A facebook group was started for him after the accident happened last night, and after he passed away today a memorial blog was started for everyone to share memories and for people to know how they could help the family. I read many of the comments and it was amazing to see how many people it has affected. I am reminded of a quote from the movie "It's a Wonderful Life":

"One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there, it leaves an awfully big hole"

Hearing of all the tears that were shed at the middle school today and reading the comments on both facebook and the memorial blog from family, friends, teammates, teachers, classmates and more is definite proof of the truthfulness of this quote. Everyone had something to share and there were many fond memories of the boy being cheerful, sweet, and fun. As my little brother wrote on the blog: "Logan was a great kid, always smilling. It was even said that he was laughing right before the accident."

Hearing of something like this reminds me how fragile life is, and so unpredictable. There is no way to know when someone's life will suddenly be ended. As cliche as this may sound, it makes me want to always live my life to the fullest. You also can never know when the life of a loved one will be taken away, and so I repeat my strong belief that we must always make sure that people know how much they mean to us, before it's too late.

From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours...

This is a little late, but I have been busy and have been wanting to write this blog ever since it happened to me, but now I am finally getting the chance....

Last Monday there was an adoption conference at UVU that was open to students and the public. There were a big variety of classes available as well as a key note speaker. One of my teachers decided that instead of holding class that day, he wanted us to attend one of the classes or listen to the speaker. Well the key note speaker was Michael McLean, whom I really like, so I went to that. For those of you that don't know, Michael McLean is a LDS singer and songwriter who has been making music for the last 25 years. He is most well known for The Forgotten Carols. If you want to know more about him, his website is: http://www.michaelmcleanmusic.com.

So I went into the small theater where he was going to be speaking and it turns out I got to sit about five rows back from him. I was close enough to him that I could hear him interacting with people before the show and I could see that he had a fun, expressive, and kind personality.

After being introduced, he went on to the stage and sat down at the piano. I was excited that I'd get to hear him perform a song, but it turns out that he stayed at the piano for the entire hour that he was speaking. What followed was a very moving performance complete with stories, insights and songs.

The primary form of adoption that he was focusing on was the situations in which a single girl is pregnant and through an extremely difficult process decides to give her unborn child to a married couple that cannot have children of their own. I have never had any kind of personal experience with this kind of adoption, but it is something that I am passionate about. I have read a lot of stories about it and believe strongly in the idea. It is easy to watch from the outside and condemn those birth mothers who are struggling with the decision, because logically it is a very clear decision to give her child to a married couple. But for the person in that situation it is far from being about logic and what makes the most sense, especially after you have carried the baby for 9 months and have seen the precious baby's face. Hearing it from the birth mother's perspective, it is undeniable how hard and selfless this decision is. I greatly admire anyone who has made that decision, and with my ambition to work for LDS Family Services, I may one day be able to help the women in those circumstances.

All through his stories and songs I could hear sniffling all around me. I had no doubt that many of the people surrounding me had been directly effected by the things he was talking about it... whether they were a birth mom who gave up her child, the grateful parents who received a child through adoption, a child about whom the selfless decision was made, or someone else who had been touched by the miracle of adoption. I don't think there were many dry eyes in the audience, I know mine were not.

One of the most emotional parts was when he told the story that inspired his well known and loved song "From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours." Hearing about the specific individual who had asked him to write this song, and then about all the responses and decisions that it sparked in others from hearing it was truly amazing. It was much more powerful hearing him sing it, but here are the words:

From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours

So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure

If I can ever hope to trust my judgment anymore.

But lately I've been thinking,

Cause it's all I've had to do.

And in my heart I feel that I

Should give this child to you.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your precious one,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

If you choose to tell him,

Or if he wants to know,

How the one who gave him life

Could bear to let him go.

Just tell him there were sleepless nights,

I prayed and paced the floors,

And knew the only peace I'd find,

Was if this child was yours.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,

By someone, who delivered your precious one,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

Now I know that you don't have to do this,
But could you kiss him once for me?
The first time that he ties his shoes, or falls and skins his knee?
And could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes?
Tell him that he's not alone...sometimes that's all it takes.
I know how much he'll ache...

This may not be the answer,

For another girl like me.

And I'm not on a soapbox,

Saying how we all should be.

I'm just trusting in my feelings,

And I'm trusting God above,

And I'm trusting you can give this baby

Both his mothers' love.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,

By someone, who delivered your precious one,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

After the show I decided to go talk to him since I was only a few rows away anyways. There were two women that were in front of me in line to talk to him. I heard what they said to him and it was really amazing. One of them was the birth mother who had given her son to the other women and they had come to the conference together. Hearing their story and the positive results was really great. So then I got to meet Michael McLean and shake his hand and get his autograph. He is a really friendly guy and it was awesome to meet him. And his talk left me a lot to think about...

Climb Every Mountain

Wow, I never thought the day would come when I would write a blog about climbing mountains...

I grew up hearing about mountains all the time, and living in New Mexico there were a lot of them around. My dad had a tradition to take each of my brothers on trip to climb one of the different nearby mountains with just the two of them. That mountain then became 'their mountain.' When we were driving around they could look up with pride and point at the mountain that was claimed as their own. It was a really special experience for each of them and I know it made my dad happy. I never went on one of these mountain claiming trips. I think it was mostly because there was a forest fire that went through our town and a lot of the nearby mountains and hikes were closed for a while. Even with that barrier I am sure we could have found a time to do it if it was something that I really wanted to do. But it wasn't. My parents and brothers were all really excited and motivated about mountains but I just didn't get it...why would I want to go through all the pain and discouragement to reach the top to see a view that I could of just seen in a postcard or picture? It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the outdoors or physical activities, because I definitely did...but climbing mountains just wasn't for me.

Last weekend I went to the BYU Homecoming Spectacular show and the theme this year was "Reach for the Summit." The musical and artistic performances were all based around this theme. The narrator through the show was a mountain man that reminded me so much of my dad. His love of nature, passion for hiking, and obvious excitement about climbing mountains that he wants to share with everyone around him were completely my dad. When the mountain man broke into an inspirational song about climbing mountains the likeness was sealed. As the man tried to convince the group of boys of all the reasons that they should climb the mountain, I couldn't help but see my dad saying the same thing to me. To add to this uncanny resemblance between the mountain man and my dad, I know the person who designed the Homecoming logo and she told me that the hat that the mountain man is wearing in the logo was based off of my brother's hat...which is the same hat that my dad and all of my brothers have and all started with my dad...

So the show focused on Mount Timpanogas since that is the nearby mountain that is an exhausting hike, but apparently worth it. My dad wants so bad to be able to hike that mountain one day. As cliche as this may sound, by the time the show was over I had a huge urge to go hike Timp. It is too cold to do now, but it is now one of my goals for when it is warm enough.

I was thinking about this some more and about all of the mountains that I have climbed in my past. I have climbed Wheeler Peak (the highest mountain in New Mexico at 13, 161 feet) three times. The first time was when I was about 12 years old when I went with a group of 16 year old girls that my parents were going with:

Notice the hat...

The second time was when I was about 13 years old and I was going with my Young Women group as part of Girls Camp:

Me and my friend Britany

And the third time was when I was about 14 and we went with my whole family during the last summer of all of us together for a while:

See how they all have the hat :)

My appreciation and acceptance of mountains has really grown through the years and now I view them as more than just pure torture :). I have always been one who loves symbols and meaningful metaphors and I cannot deny that mountains are a very good metaphor for life. All three times that I hiked Wheeler Peak it was difficult and exhausting. There were those times when it was especially steep and I would take one step forward only to fall two steps back in the loose rocks and wanted so bad to give up and convince myself it wasn't worth it. There were people in my group that did give up and never reached the top. No one would have thought any less of me if I didn't make it all the way to the top. But I made it all three times. And the only person I was battling was myself. There is something truly satisfying about conquering the weak side of yourself, and climbing a mountain is definitely one way to do that.

I got the chance to climb Timp about halfway this summer. We left too late in the day to be able to get to the top, and honestly I was completely okay with that. But even just going halfway we got pretty high up and the view was breathtaking and, contrary to my previous beliefs, you cannot capture it in a picture:

I look forward to being able to one day reach the summit. Now, who would have thought I'd ever say that? :)

One Year Older and.... Wiser too?

I remember as a little girl that I always thought 19 was the magical age. I thought that 19 year old girls were on the top of the world and at the best place in their life... everything was so much better at 19. I would always play the 19 year old girl in all the make-believe games that I played with my friends or by myself. I could hardly wait until that time...

And then yesterday I turned 19. When I climbed out of bed in the morning I felt a little tingle that started in my toes and went all the way up to my nose and I could feel the transformation happening.... Okay, just kidding. Truth is I didn't feel any different being one year older...along with every other birthday I have had. But that is how everything with time goes. You can never feel it when it's happening, you can only see the change when you look back and see the effects. I could see absolutely no difference from one day to the next, but when I think back to where I was one year ago, so much has changed...

I am living in a different state in a totally different setting. My living arrangements, schedule, activities and atmosphere are all completely different. I have new friends, new family members(a sister-in-law and my first nephew), new interests, new responsibilities and commitments, new trials and new blessings. In so many ways I have changed so much, but in other ways I am the same. My basic beliefs, ideas and personality are the same, but so many other parts of me have changed. I think that in general people usually think that they don't change much, that they stay basically the same. I think a lot of the time people want to believe that, because change is scary and hard, and you don't want to believe that you are not going to stay the same. But change can also be wonderful. How can anyone ever progress or experience new things without change? Change is also inevitable. I think back on all that has happened to me in the last 12 months...all of the people I have met and interacted with and learned from...all of the times that I fell down and thought I couldn't get back up again, but did...all of the moments when I thought life couldn't get any better than that, but it did... and I realize: how could I possibly not change? How can anyone not change? It is unavoidable, and should not be avoided, but instead embraced.

So as I begin my 19th year I am filled with anticipation, excitement, wonder, and a little bit of nervousness as I think about what is to come and all that will change outside of me and, more importantly, inside of me by the time my next birthday comes. I have no idea, and that's exactly how it was meant to be...

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice

This weekend was pretty full, but not in the way weekends normally are. All of Saturday and Sunday were based around General Conference. Saturday morning, bright and early, I headed up to Salt Lake City with my brother and sister-in-law, my other brother, and two of my roommates. We watched the Saturday morning session in the Conference Center.



Afterward, we had a picnic

Kylie and Rachel

Then we watched the afternoon session in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. And we all posed by the lovely reflection pool afterward:

Jeff, Rachel, Kylie, Greg, Kristen, and me

Roommates!

Sunday morning we had a big potluck breakfast at our apartment with all of the people from Saturday plus another roommate and friend. We all watched the morning session together in our PJs while we ate the delicious breakfast. And of course, we watched the afternoon session as well.

I had a particularly good conference experience this year. I finally tried what people had been telling me to do for a while now. I have heard everyone's experiences with having a specific question before conference and then having that question answered in one of the talks. I was always a little scared that I would do it and there would be no answer, so I would kind of go into conference with general ideas and sorta questions. But this time I decided to do it for real and I came up with a couple questions, and one main one, and I wrote them down. And, what do you know, my main question was addressed in the very first talk! I had a very good conference experience and I am very grateful that we had the opportunity to listen the prophet and all the other speakers and to hear all of their wisdom!

I Have The Wrong Name!

I am sure that everyone has been called by the wrong name on several occasions. Sometimes you get called a sibling's name, a friend's name, a name that sounds like yours, or the name of someone who looks like you. But have you ever been consistently called by the same name, that is not yours and sounds nothing like yours? I have! There is one main name that I am very frequently called. It's pretty funny how many times and how many different people have made the mistake.... and with the same name. So now you are all wondering which name it is, right? Or maybe you already know, because apparently I look very much like the name. I asked Rachel which name she thought I got called a lot, and she got it on her very first guess!

So drum roll please.... the name I am constantly mistaken for is..... Jessica! Sounds just like Stephanie, right? Uh, no. Luckily I like the name Jessica and I am not constantly called a name I think is ugly. And it doesn't really bother me that people get my name wrong because I know that remembering names is hard. It just really intrigues me that everyone calls me the SAME wrong name. You might think I am exaggerating, but let me share some examples...

It mostly started in middle school, and for very understandable reasons. My best friend's name was Jessica and we had all 7 classes together(completely a coincidence, we didn't plan it that way.) So since we spent so much time together, it was understandable for teachers to get us mixed up. But there were times when we had seats on the opposite side of the room and teachers didn't even know we were best friends yet, and we would still get mixed up. The funny thing was we didn't even look a like. She was blond hair, blue eyes.... and I was brown hair, hazel eyes. In our science class that we were partners for, the teacher would alternately call us by our first and last names so we had even more names to be mixed up. I learned to respond to four different names... my first name, my last name, her first name, and her last name.

Then High School came and we kind of went our separate ways. Since I wasn't hanging out with her all the time anymore I didn't think it would happen anymore, but I was very wrong. We had one class together in High School, and that was French class. We got to choose french names to be called in the class, and that was sometimes what we wrote on our papers and sometimes we wrote our regular names. Since my name is french I just got to keep the same name. But I was instead called by Jessica's name, or Jessica's french name. The same thing happened in our french class the next year. I don't think she ever went a class period without calling me the wrong name.

But I had several other things like this happen to me even when I wasn't in the same class or place as her. I remember a math class I had when the teacher was handing something back and she was calling Jessica to come pick it up. She kept calling the name, and finally I looked up and said "Are you talking to me? My name is not Jessica." The teacher was really perplexed as to why she'd been calling me Jessica, but it was definitely not the first time. And there wasn't even another Jessica in the class to get me mixed up with.

As this has happened to me on numerous occasions I have come to realize that it wasn't just the person Jessica that I got confused with.... I must really look like a Jessica. At a summer camp daycare that I worked at, one of the 4th graders that I was the counselor for would call me Jessica half the time, despite my frequent reminders that it wasn't my name. And there was no other Jessica working at the summer camp. Just last night, someone who was playing on the intramural soccer team with me was trying to remember my name. When she said "it's Jessica, right?" I just had to laugh. Mom and Dad, I guess you named me the wrong name...

"Yeeeah, I live for little moments, like that...." and more Brad Paisley adventures...

Saturday night, while everyone else was hiking to the BYU football game, I was headed the other direction to Salt Lake City to go to the Brad Paisley concert. I had bought the tickets to the concert before I knew that the first BYU home football game was on the same night. But I wasn't going to miss my opportunity to see the wonderful Brad Paisley live, and I wasn't going to waste the money I spent on the tickets. It was with a little pang of sadness at seeing everyone all decked out in blue and excited for the first home game that I left town... but it was definitely worth it. And as it turned out, I didn't miss much of a game. So in faithful little jeepy with Rachel at the wheel, we headed off for the concert...



The two openers for the concert were Jimmy Wayne and Dierks Bentley and they both did a great job. But of course, the best part was Brad Paisley!

I love silhouettes!

As it seems is a pattern for my concert experiences, there was some rain....


Brad Paisley put on a really good concert. He was funny, fun, entertaining, and he sang a big variety of songs. One of the things that I love about him is that he sings really funny songs (i.e. I'm Still a Guy, Celebrity, Online, Me Neither, many more...) that are so hilarious, clever, and fun. But then he also sings beautiful, meaningful songs (i.e. Then, Letter to Me, He Didn't Have to Be, When I Get Where I'm Going, etc...) that really touch your heart. He has such a great variety of songs, and it was really evident in the concert. Also, I really admire his character. For all the fame and glory he has had, he has really been able to stay down-to-earth. He has not been caught up in the many temptations of stardom and the tabloids are not full of scandalous stories about him. He is aware of all the unnecessary hype surrounding stars, as he writes about in his song "Celebrity." Basically he is just a solid guy who loves his wife and kids, who also happens to be talented with a guitar and write great songs...

~ I'm an Aunt!! ~

This morning at 5:02 a.m. Hyrum Edward Skidmore was born! He is 8 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long. I am so happy for Brad and Jet and so happy to have a little addition to our family. I remember clearly all the moments that led up to now....when they told us that Jet was expecting... when we found out that they were going to have a boy... looking at ultrasound pictures... helping Jet pick out baby clothes....and feeling little Hyrum kick in Jet's stomach. I can't wait until I will be able to see him and hold him. To have his little hand wrap around one of my fingers and be able to look at his perfect little face. Until then, I will just have to look at pictures. But even they capture his beauty and perfection:

Hyrum Edward Skidmore

The new family.....Brad, Jet, and Hyrum

When I first saw this picture I almost cried. His face is just so peaceful and innocent. I can't help but think of how recently he left his Heavenly Father. He is still so perfect and innocent! Also, I have to marvel at the miracle of life. It is so amazing what two people could create together. I am so excited to see where his life goes and everything that he will experience and accomplish. So for the first time ever, I am an aunt! Yeah!

Everyone Just Wants To Be Loved...

So I have always been fascinated by relationships. Primarily guy-girl relationships, but family relationships/friendships/etc as well. That is a large part of the reason I want to be a marriage and family therapist. The entire line of work is based around improving relationships.

I have had this interest ever since I was a little girl. I clearly remember all the imaginitive games I would make up to play (usually by myself since I had all brothers and for some reason they didn't want to play house and princess. I can't figure out why not...). My favorite part of my little games was creating the relationships between the characters. I always had the main character (me, of course) an established set of friends, family, and of course...romantic interest. I would do the same thing when I played with barbies, paper dolls, legos, etc. I always prefered the 'people' toys because I enjoyed giving each of them a personality and relationships. And I was always interested in the love stories or other relationship stories in the movies and books that I read. Not that there were a lot of them in my house, seeing as we were a very male dominated household. But, not to worry, one day when I was older I discovered chick flicks and I have been hooked since.... :)

I know that a lot of people do not understand the love that me and numerous other females have for chick flicks. I have heard the many complaints by guys. Most commonly heard.....'Chick flicks are so predictable. They are all the same: boy meets girl, they don't get along at first, boy and girl fall in love, there is a misunderstanding that threatens to ruin relationship, boy and girl overcome misunderstanding and live happily ever after.' I am not claiming that chick flicks are not predictable or similar in story line. However, as I have explained to many people...it is not the end of the movie that is so wonderful or unique... rather, it is the journey. The entire process of how the two people fall in love and overcome their differences and misunderstandings is what I love. It is not so much what happens, but how it happens. And every couple, both in real life and in movies, has their own unique journey and story.

So I guess that relationships are sort of always in the back of my mind. I have a tendency to watch and observe people in their interactions with other people. Just ask Brianne about the time we went to a basketball game together....She was watching the game and I was watching the people who were watching the game. I tried really heard to pay attention, but the people in the stands were so much more fascinating! I am a Behavioral Science major, I have an excuse.....right??

Anyways, relationships have been on my mind even more than usual recently for various reasons. First of all, I am taking a marriage/relationship class for my major, which is really interesting. Also, last night I was with a group of people and someone wanted advice on something with a girl so he told us the entire story of their dating and break-up. The story led to a discussion about relationships, etc. And then today, when I came home from school, my roommate was watching "27 Dresses." I love that movie and it always gets me thinking and talking about things. After the movie, we had a big discussion about the quality of the relationship in this movie and how two imperfect people are made better through their interactions with eachother. (Yes, our watching chick flicks together usually results in a big dicussion)

The best thing about relationsips...everyone has them. Whether you are a husband, girlfriend, sister, father, friend...they are all important. Some people claim to not want relationships because it opens you up to the possibility of getting hurt badly. There is no denying that. But I also know that it is worth all the risk and sacrifice. There is nothing better in the world than to love and be loved in return. I came across a line in the book for my marriage/relationship class that really stuck with me. It is particularly relevent now, at a time when people are doubting marriage and family and many other good things in the world:

"All the cynicism of the world cannot smother the fire that burns in each of us for connection at the deepest levels of our heart and soul."

On that note... :)

So I have joined the world of blogging...

I have always had two main things that have kept me from making a blog. First, I didn't know how to do it and didn't want to try to figure it out.....enter Kylie! Second, I didn't think anyone would want to read about the what is happening in my life. But I realized that I really enjoy hearing or reading the random stories, thoughts, opinions, and insights of other people. So maybe other people feel the same way. Also....one of my favorite quotes by Richard Paul Evans says, "Rarely do we invest the time to open the book of another's life. When we do, we are usually suprised to find its cover misleading and its reviews so flawed." I have always had an interest in learning peoples' stories and what makes them who they are. Blogging is another way to do that, so hence the title "Open the book of another's life." So hopefully I will get to know a little more about people and they can get to know me as well!