One Year Older and.... Wiser too?

I remember as a little girl that I always thought 19 was the magical age. I thought that 19 year old girls were on the top of the world and at the best place in their life... everything was so much better at 19. I would always play the 19 year old girl in all the make-believe games that I played with my friends or by myself. I could hardly wait until that time...

And then yesterday I turned 19. When I climbed out of bed in the morning I felt a little tingle that started in my toes and went all the way up to my nose and I could feel the transformation happening.... Okay, just kidding. Truth is I didn't feel any different being one year older...along with every other birthday I have had. But that is how everything with time goes. You can never feel it when it's happening, you can only see the change when you look back and see the effects. I could see absolutely no difference from one day to the next, but when I think back to where I was one year ago, so much has changed...

I am living in a different state in a totally different setting. My living arrangements, schedule, activities and atmosphere are all completely different. I have new friends, new family members(a sister-in-law and my first nephew), new interests, new responsibilities and commitments, new trials and new blessings. In so many ways I have changed so much, but in other ways I am the same. My basic beliefs, ideas and personality are the same, but so many other parts of me have changed. I think that in general people usually think that they don't change much, that they stay basically the same. I think a lot of the time people want to believe that, because change is scary and hard, and you don't want to believe that you are not going to stay the same. But change can also be wonderful. How can anyone ever progress or experience new things without change? Change is also inevitable. I think back on all that has happened to me in the last 12 months...all of the people I have met and interacted with and learned from...all of the times that I fell down and thought I couldn't get back up again, but did...all of the moments when I thought life couldn't get any better than that, but it did... and I realize: how could I possibly not change? How can anyone not change? It is unavoidable, and should not be avoided, but instead embraced.

So as I begin my 19th year I am filled with anticipation, excitement, wonder, and a little bit of nervousness as I think about what is to come and all that will change outside of me and, more importantly, inside of me by the time my next birthday comes. I have no idea, and that's exactly how it was meant to be...