Monday, July 19, 2010

Let me tell you about a girl...

**disclaimer: I totally starting writing this before Kylie did her blog post, although hers was posted first :)


Meet Kylie. Yes I know she's awesome.

I met Kylie over a year ago when we were randomly put together as roommates. What followed was an exciting summer full of adventures and bonding...


Then Fall and winter came and there was a switch in some of the roommates but the adventures continued...




Kylie is basically amazing and can make me laugh SO much but can also really touch and inspire me with her insights and opinions. There is no one else like her and I am SO excited that she is going to be coming to visit me in two days! Yeah!!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Parenting

Parenting is something that has been on my mind a lot recently. I have been living with my brother and sister-in-law for the last two weeks and have had a lot of time to interact with my 8 month old nephew. That exposure in addition to interesting talks with Jet, listening to conversations from other young mothers, and my years of working at a daycare has taught me one big thing about parenting: EVERYTHING that a parent does when raising a child has some sort of effect. It is kind of a scary idea that developing children are so impressionable and that if a parent makes a mistake in raising the child, it can have effects for years down the road. I have heard stories of how a thing as little as always holding the bottle for the baby can keep the child from ever learning how to do it on their own and always be reliant on their parent for it. Every decision and the finding of a balance in such things as helping too much or not helping enough has direct results. Such questions are encountered as: How long do you let the baby cry? How can you teach a child a lesson without being too harsh? It this something he/she should learn to do on their own or is it something I should be doing for them? When is the right age for everything? With so many tough decisions to make and such a great amount of responsibility and power, it is a miracle that anyone ever chose to be a parent. Any person who exercises all their effort to be the best parent that they can be deserves to be commended. So although as I have gotten older I have seen things that my parents may have not done quite right when raising me, or things that I will plan on doing differently when I am a parent; I can also see all that they have done right. I have seen so many ways in which their good decisions or sacrifices have made a difference. So here's to my mom:

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!! I love you and I thank you for all that you have done for me to make me who I am today. Thank you for ever taking on the challenge of raising me(and I know that it was a challenge!).


And thank you to all the parents everywhere for all the hard decisions and experimenting that you have done to try to raise the best kids that they can. Although you may not always be able to see or feel it, you are all appreciated and loved for what you have done. Keep up the good work!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Lessons I Learned from The Walk

I recently read "The Walk" by Richard Paul Evans which was about a man who lost everything and thinks he has nothing left to live for and so he decides to take a walk across America. This is the beginning of a series, and so he has only crossed his state of Washington so far, but already he has had many interesting experiences. I love all of Richard Paul Evans' books and one thing that I love about them is that there are so many quotable and inspiring lines. For most of his books that I have read I have gone through and typed up many of the quotes. This book didn't have quite as many as the other books by him that I've read, but there were still a lot of good lines, which I included in this blog. Reading the book has really made me think about my walk in this life... all of the people whose paths have crossed mine and have had an influence on me...all of my unique experiences... developing and growing to become who I am meant to be...seeing how I can make a difference in others' journeys...and all of the lessons that I have learned.

Here were some of my favorite lines from the book...

"Kierkegaard wrote that 'we understand our lives backward, but must live them forward.' He was right, of course; but in looking back on the hammer strikes that chisel and shape our souls we understand more than our lives and even ourselves--we begin to comprehend the sculptor."


"I do not know what lies beyond the horizon, only that the road I walk was meant for me. It is enough."


"The assumption of time is one humanity's greatest follies: we tell ourselves that there's always tomorrow, when we can no more predict tomorrow than we can the weather. Procrastination is the thief of dreams."


"...the only real sign of life is growth. And growth requires pain. So to choose life is to accept pain. Some people go to such lengths to avoid pain that they give up on life. They bury their hearts, or they drug or drink themselves numb until they don't feel anything anymore. The irony is, in the end their escape becomes more painful than what they're avoiding."


"Some people in this world have stopped looking for beauty, then wonder why their lives are so ugly. Don't be like them. The ability to appreciate beauty is of God. Especially in one another. Look for beauty in everyone you meet and you'll find it. Everyone carries divinity with them. And everyone we meet has something to impart."


"It's a rare human who spends more time looking for truth than protecting their already-held beliefs."


"This is what I've learned. We can spend our days bemoaning our losses, or we can grow from them. Ultimately the choice is ours. We can be victims of circumstances or masters of our fate, but make no mistake, we cannot be both."

Monday, April 12, 2010

Mixed Feelings

Today is my half birthday (which means I am only 6 months away from being 20...crazy! I seriously can't believe that!) and also marks my last full week in Provo for a while. I am always blown away by how fast things seem to happen and change. It has been almost an entire year that I have been in Provo, and now I am going back to Los Alamos for the summer. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this quickly-approaching change. There are a lot of things that I will miss from Provo that cannot be found in Los Alamos, and also a lot of things that I am looking forward to in Los Alamos.

Things I will miss...


My awesome ward and apartment complex. Having so many options of things to do. My roommates. Being able to meet so many new people. Greg and Kristen. Having my own apartment. All of my new friends. Getting invited to so many fun things. FUN. Being only 30 seconds away from lots of awesome people. Skidmore-Zimmerman siblings dinners. Having a dollar theater. New experiences and opportunities for growth. The proximity of so many things that comes with living in a town bigger than Los Alamos. Having so many people my age around. Saturday morning basketball games. Getting unintentionally serenaded by the people who live in the house behind my window (it is happening right now).


Things I am looking forward to...


FAMILY. Actually being able to work and make money. No school! Mom's home-cooked meals. Hyrum(today also marks his 7 month birthday!). Less stress. Bonding and girl time with Jet. Trip to New York City. Talking and spending time with Brad. My job at the YMCA summer camp. My parents. A more relaxed environment. Simple, wonderful moments with the family laughing together. Wes. Saving money. Being able to learn and grow in a different kind of way. Seeing my High School friends. Free membership to the YMCA. Living with Brad and Jet for a month. A nice, warm summer that won't be quite as hot as Provo. Playing games with the family. Family meals.

I think that the draws of Los Alamos outweigh the things I will miss, and so I am happy with my decision. Of course, I will be sad to leave Provo, but being sad at the end of something only means that whatever it was must have been good! And the best part is that it is not really an end. And as I have said in many blog posts, time flies! Before I know it I will be back in Provo and missing things in Los Alamos...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Positive Psychology Oscar Awards

Last week in my Positive Psychology class my teacher showed us an article in which Ryan Niemiec who is a pretty big name in the Positive Psychology field created a list of 'Oscars' for Positive Psychology movies in 2009. He described them as: "films that both appeal to a wide audience and have important messages. Many are perfect for use in the classroom, the therapy room, and the coaching relationship. I hope you will view them yourself and reflect on how you and your clients might benefit from thinking and talking about them. These films allow us to explore ourselves (through common dialogue recreated on the screen), feel deeply and learn about the world (through the characters’ journeys), and see the greatness that is possible (through virtuous role models). Let go of preconceptions, approach each film with mindfulness (openness, curiosity, and controlled attention), and the benefits will come."

I was really interested in this list, because I definitely agree that from certain movies you can learn so much about yourself and the world around you and then be inspired to become greater or to make a difference in the world around you. Each of the movies was chosen for a different aspect of positive psychology that it exemplifies. I had already seen 4 of the 10 movies, but I saw 3 more of them this week. So I thought I'd share the list with you guys and give you my own opinions on the movies. Two of the movies are rated R and one of them does not have any appeal to me, so I just skipped those three on this list.

Number 10 for Flow: Whip It!

Personally, I wasn't a huge fan of this movie, and I think there are other films that better portray flow....but maybe not in 2009. For those who do not know, flow is "the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity." I think I probably just wasn't a huge fan of the plot or the execution of the movie, but I could see clearly how it demonstrated flow. But for all of you, my faithful readers, it wouldn't be a movie that I would necessarily recommend.



Number 7 for Goal Setting: Julie and Julia

I saw this movie in the dollar theater and would definitely agree with this award. It is based on two true stories...one about Julia Childs, and one about Julie, the self-trained cook who starts a project to replicate all of Julia Childs' recipes and keep a blog about her findings. As his article says, "Julie’s goal follow-through and maintenance is extraordinary and inspirational for any coaching client." I completely agree and think that this was a great movie to show all the aspects of goal-setting and following through....all the setbacks, the moments of doubt and considering giving up, determination to push through the tough spots, and then the euphoria when you succeed.


Number 6 for Savoring: Up

This was such a cute movie! His article talked about how a repeated theme in this movie was the "adventure book" full of photos of him and his wife who had passed away. Later in the movie he discovers that his wife had added pictures in it that demonstrate their love and connection. And "as he savors the memories, he realizes he has lived a full life." I would definitely agree with their review and would recommend this movie to anyone...it is super cute!




Number 5 for Integration of Medical Model and Positive Psychology: The Soloist

I watched this movie today and thought that it was really good. It is based on the true story of a homeless musician and the newspaper reporter who discovers him and writes about him. The musician's struggle with schizophrenia is an important part of the story. As the article says, the "film integrates a focus on mental illness with what is strongest and best in people" which is a main goal of Positive Psychology. I agreed with the article when he said, "as it portrays a burgeoning friendship, significant creativity, and the schizophrenia of musician Nathaniel Ayers, it refuses to shy away from the pain, suffering, and realities of mental illness." I feel like movies like this are important to see because it helps me better understand mental illness and to have more knowledge and compassion towards the situation.


Number 4 for Positive Application: The Blind Side

I am sure that everyone who has seen this movie is not surprised that it made the list. What an incredible and touching true story! Sandra Bullock does an amazing job of playing the assertive and loving woman who takes in a young man from a difficult background and teaches him to "tap into what is strongest in him" and helps him become a successful football player. It is a perfect example of positive application and definitely a movie that demonstrates positive psychology. I would recommend the movie to anyone, and based on the large amount and great variety of people that have told me how much they loved it, I think it is a movie that anyone and everyone can love.



Number 2 for Cinematic Elevation: Avatar

This movie was definitely more than just high quality special effects for me. I think the article says it best: "Avatar powerfully portrays moral courage, love, and racial harmony, and is ripe with inspiring messages for viewers to act more courageous, loving, more grateful, or more hopeful upon leaving the theater." It worked for many people and led to more articles on how Avatar demonstrates Positive Psychology. If anyone is interested in reading more, I really liked this article: http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/louis-alloro/201001297785. My favorite lines from it were: "Avatar is real-life, not just a sci-fi epic, if you’re open to seeing it that way. Ultimately, this is what positive psychology is about for me – being willing to see things in different and perhaps more positive ways. It is a mindset that can be built consciously, over time by challenging old habits of thinking, speaking, doing, and ultimately, of feeling."

And now for the winner...

Number 1 for Depiction of Character: Invictus

I saw this movie at the dollar theater this week and it is definitely inspiring, as well as full of Positive Psychology and depiction of character. It is the true story of Nelson Mandela and how he united South Africa through the game of rugby. Although it includes both, it is not a sports story or a story about race, rather it is a story of human potential. As a special shout-out to my family, I think you guys would really like this one, especially Dad. The poem that is encompassed throughout the movie and is the source of the movie title, is definitely a good one that is made more meaningful through the movie. It is:


Invictus
By William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

These are just a short list of some of the year's Positive Psychology movies, and although I strongly agree with a lot of it, there are many more out there that are not listed. I just have to stick one of my own in here at the end, because I recently saw it and it was much better and more meaningful than I had expected....

Love Happens

I think this movie has probably been passed by as 'just another chick flick,' but it is definitely more than that. I don't think I would even label it as a chick flick, it is more of a story of character development and the healing process. The love story is not even what the movie was all about, it is only one aspect of it...a very important part, but not what the movie is all about. I was surprised at how meaningful this movie was, and definitely a tear-jerker. When I watched it I had been thinking about all these Positive Psychology films and it struck me how much this movie exemplified it. The main character in the film is the author of a self-help book about overcoming the death of loved ones and he uses the experience from his life with the death of his wife to connect with his readers and those that attend his conferences. But it is seen throughout the story that all of the advice he is giving to others, he has not applied in his own life. His realization and recovery is a process throughout the movie that is natural and realistic...two qualities that this movie captures wonderfully. I really liked this movie and felt like it had a lot to offer!

Well that was probably more than anyone wanted to hear, but I hope that it demonstrates the messages of Positive Psychology that can be found...not just in movies, but all around us. Many of these movies were based on true stories, so these things are happening all around us, if we are willing to look for them.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Oh, The Places You'll Go...

"So, what do you like to do?"... This is a question that I often get asked on dates or when meeting new people. After giving my standard answers of playing soccer and just hanging out with friends, and maybe a few other random things, I can't really come up with anything else. This seems pretty lame and boring so I thought about it some more....what DO I like to do? My love of traveling and experiencing new places came to mind. It really is something I love and have been blessed to be able to do. So one of my new answers has become that I love to travel when money and opportunity allows. It does not even have to be anywhere big or that far away...I really love all forms of traveling. It is especially fun for me to be able to visit the hometown of a friend and see where they came from. A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to go down to Vegas for the mission farewell of my friend Kasidy. While seeing the Strip and the other tourist attractions of Vegas was really cool, a large part of what made the trip special was getting to see Kasidy and Kylie's homes and where they grew up.

All of this has caused me to think about the places that I have been and the places that I one day hope to visit. Some of my favorite trips I have been on...

Family trip to the Seattle area, the summer before my eighth grade year:

It has been my favorite area in the United States that I have visited.


We took a one day cruise around the San Juan Islands.


Family trip to France and England in order to explore Greg's mission in Southern France.


Castle in Southern France


Getting caught in the rain at the Normandy Beaches


At the Mediterranean Sea



Inside a hedge maze near London

Trip to the countryside of England with my Dad on an extended family reunion in order to see significant sites in our family history.

Castle ruins on the border of England and Wales


Exploring a coal mine


Some of the places that I want to go(there is pretty much an unending list of places I'd want to go, but these are a few of my top choices)....

Italy
There are SO many places in Italy that I would want to go, but this picture is of Trieste, Italy. My Grandpa has a framed version of it because he has traveled all over the world for his job and he told me that this is the one place he loves the most.

Ireland


I love the green, and what place has more green than Ireland?! Every time that I see pictures of Ireland, or when movies are filmed there, I have such an urge to go there!

New Zealand

Everything that I have read or heard about New Zealand makes me want to visit this beautiful and unique place!


India

This is actually a new one for me, it has never been one on my top list before. I have recently gained a lot of interest in India, because it has such an interesting and beautiful culture that I would love to experience.

Australia


My grandma, who has traveled all over the world with my grandpa, told me that her favorite place she has visited is Australia. Among other things, she loved the people there. It is another unique place that I would love to visit.


This is only a fraction of the many places that I would love to go, but whether my journeys lead me across the seas to foreign countries or somewhere new that is not far at all....it is always fascinating to see the places you'll go....


Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Puzzle of a Person

I remember in my Junior year of High School that my AP Psychology teacher would talk about how she watched the TV show Lost. I didn't really know much about it, but from what she said it sounded like a show that I would enjoy. It sounded like it had lots of good psychology elements to it. But I never ended up watching it and I kind of forgot about it. However, recently I found the full episodes of all 5 seasons online. So I decided to give the show a try and see if there really were all those interesting psychological aspects to it, or if it was just a thriller about being deserted on an island and fighting all of those things that go bump in the night. While the latter is a fairly large part of the show, it is not the focus and adds some excitement to the story without being overbearing. The thing that I love most about the show is the people and their stories and interactions with the other characters. In the very first episode you see the 48 survivors of the plane crash all over the beach and their reactions to what just happened. You have no idea what happened in the crash or who all of the people are. Through flashbacks from the different perspectives of the characters you begin to put pieces together and better understand the characters. Through the first season, most of the episodes would be focused on one individual character and their past, and how they came to be on the flight that crashed. The episode would begin with a close-up on the eye of the character that is being explored in that episode. I love that concept because the eyes are the window to the soul and each person has their own unique eyes and their own unique story. I love that the show was set up like this because it is representative of life and relationships. When you are getting to know someone, they do not start at the beginning of their life and chronologically go through all the events and experiences that made them who they are today. Instead, you see little pieces at a time. Through a story from their past, a secret they share, a hobby or interest you discover, a quirk or personality trait they manifest, you begin to put together the pieces of the puzzle of who that person is. You will complete much more of some people's puzzles than others... like those in your family, the person you marry, your closest friends....but you never complete the puzzle. There will always be more pieces you can add. That is the beautiful thing about getting to know people, it never ends. This concept has always been of great interest to me, which is why I cherish those moments when someone confides in me or shares a story or piece of them with me...it is one more piece I can add to a beautiful puzzle.

Of course, there are several aspects to Lost that I enjoy, but that is definitely the greatest of them all. During free time on the weekends, or times during the week that I need a break from homework, I can be found with my headphones plugged in to my laptop and my gaze affixed to the screen...with my occasional sound effects of various different emotions which often result in frightening Kylie or causing Rachel to say, "Let me guess...Lost?" I am currently in the first part of the 2nd season, and pretty excited to see what else is coming. Last week they had the season premiere of the 6th and final season. So I have been known to change the channel on TV, or close an advertisement online, in a frenzied rush in order to avoid giving anything away. I am determined to make it through the last season without anything significant being revealed, we'll see if I make it...